[sheps]

So, you swat up on (largely useless) information in order to answer some totally irrelevant questions, but no one bothers to check if you know how to correctly dispose of your unwanted washing machines (incorrect answer: leave them in the front garden of your rented house), what time your neighbours can complain about your loud music, dog fouling laws, public decency offenses or the (literally) hundreds & thousands of things we all do (or do not do) day every day that set us apart as solid, considerate citizens?

I don't get it -do we really want to send out the message "We'll let any old c*nt in, as long as they're budding historians and have a good memory for dates? PS, get an extra benefits allowance by answering correctly "Where did the Great Fire of London start?"

[MEGA]

Si: What is a machine machine?

?

[sheps]

Originally Posted by MEGA

Si: What is a machine machine?

?

Ahh, Little WAL-e
Should have said "Washing machines"
Now edited.

[MEGA]

I knew that. It just made me think of Wall-E.

Awwwwh

[dxb335d]

''In the midnight hour, I can feel your power''

[Snooky]

Great thread!

What a set of useless questions! I got 11 (so another fail) but as johnny foreigner I did better than a few folk who have lived here all their lives so I don't feel too bad.

Good concept. Pointless execution.

[jjbirch530d]

i got 11
shame theres no man-train lol

[dxb335d]

Originally Posted by Snooky

Great thread!

What a set of useless questions! I got 11 (so another fail) but as johnny foreigner I did better than a few folk who have lived here all their lives so I don't feel too bad.

Good concept. Pointless execution.

Your a foreigner?

[Billyray911]

A woeful 9 from me!

To compare,here are parts of the American Citizenship Interview Practice Test
Your State: New York * * * Number of Questions: 30 * * * * * *

1) There were 13 original states. Name three.
A. Connecticut, Massachusetts and Maine
B. New Jersey, New York and New Hampshire
C. Rhode Island, Florida and Georgia
D. New Hampshire, West Virginia and Virginia

2) What are the two parts of the U.S. Congress? *
A. the Senate and House of Representatives
B. the Senate and the Supreme Court
C. executive and judicial
D. the House and the President

3) Who are your state's U.S. Senators now? *
A. Debbie Stabenow and Carl Levin
B. Debbie Stabenow and Chuck Schumer
C. Carl Levin and Kirsten Gillibrand
D. Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand

4) The Federalist Papers supported the passage of the U.S. Constitution. Name one of the writers.
A. James Boshinoma
B. Alexander Hilberton
C. Jay Leno
D. Alexander Hamilton

5) Who did the United States fight in World War II?
A. Germany and Italy
B. Vietnam, Germany, and Italy
C. Japan, Germany, and Italy
D. North Korea, Germany, and Japan

6) Who does a U.S. Senator represent?
A. all people of the city he or she lives in
B. all people of the United States
C. all people of the state
D. all people of his or her party

7) What are two Cabinet-level positions?
A. Secretary of Labor and Secretary of Communication
B. Secretary of Commerce and Secretary of Law
C. Secretary of Energy and Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
D. Secretary of State and Secretary of Sports

8) Who is the "Father of Our Country"?
A. Benjamin Franklin
B. Thomas Jefferson
C. George Washington
D. Abraham Lincoln

9) When must all men register for the Selective Service?
A. at age sixteen (16)
B. at age eighteen (18)
C. between sixteen (16) and twenty-six (26)
D. between twenty (20) and twenty-five (25)

10) What are two ways that Americans can participate in their democracy?
A. join a civic group and write to a newspaper
B. write to a newspaper and speak in the United Nations
C. vote and volunteer as a social worker
D. serve on a jury and join a political party

11) What is one thing Benjamin Franklin is famous for?
A. published the code of the Constitution
B. started the first free libraries
C. invented the bulb
D. started the first universities

12) Where is the Statue of Liberty?
A. Los Angeles
B. New York Harbor
C. Hawaii Island
D. Washington, D.C.

13) What is one reason colonists came to America?
A. escape persecution
B. look for other cultural statements
C. hunt animals
D. look for the Great Canyon

14) Who was President during World War I?
A. Franklin Roosevelt
B. Woodrow Wilson
C. George Bush
D. Abraham Lincoln

15) We elect a U.S. Senator for how many years?
A. 4
B. 6
C. 7
D. 5

16) Why does the flag have 13 stripes?
A. because there were 13 founders
B. because the stripes represent the 13 Indian tribes
C. because the nation was found in July 13th
D. because there were 13 original colonies

17) How many amendments does the Constitution have?
A. 27
B. 18
C. 30
D. 25

18) What is the name of the President of the United States now? *
A. Bill Clinton
B. Barack Obama
C. George W. Bush
D. Joe Biden

19) What was one important thing that Abraham Lincoln did?
A. the first three-time president in the US
B. resisted the British Army
C. freed the slaves
D. invented the telegram

20) Name one U.S. territory.
A. Hawaii
B. Northern Mariana Islands
C. American Finland
D. Madagascar

21) When do we celebrate Independence Day?
A. July 4
B. December 25
C. January 1
D. July 1

22) What group of people was taken to America and sold as slaves?
A. Asian people at least 30 years old
B. Africans
C. People from Asia
D. Female Africans

23) Before he was President, Eisenhower was a general. What war was he in?
A. Vietnam War
B. World War I
C. World War II
D. Korean War

24) What are two rights of everyone living in the United States?
A. freedom to vote and freedom of speech
B. freedom of assembly and freedom of speech
C. the right to bear arms and freedom to vote
D. freedom of worship and freedom of education

25) What major event happened on September 11, 2001, in the United States?
A. Terrorists attacked the United States.
B. American army attacked Iraq
C. The 24th Olympic Games started
D. The 100th anniversary of American Civil War

26) What are the two major political parties in the United States? *
A. Democratic and Communist
B. Libertarian and Republican
C. Independent and Democratic
D. Republican and Democratic

27) What does the President's Cabinet do?
A. defenses the country
B. help with the presidential campaign
C. defines the laws
D. advises the President

28) Name one war fought by the United States in the 1800s.
A. Canadian-American War
B. Indian-American War
C. Gulf War
D. Mexican-American War

29) During the Cold War, what was the main concern of the United States?
A. Economics issues
B. Communism
C. Capitalism
D. Socialism

30) Name one war fought by the United States in the 1900s.
A. Civil War
B. Afghanistan War
C. World War II
D. Independence War

* * * * * (Share with friends: )

[zltm089]

I got 8!!!!!!!!.....

[rsmallwo]

Well i got 15 with no sweat. the questions just took some deduction to eleminate the wrong answers.

Yes i ultimately failed, but i beat you guys.....call yourself british...tut tut! !

I think you lot should volunteer for deportation.

M3fast, i'll buy your car from u for half market price since your getting deported now and need a quick sale.....fantastic!

:-P

[jjbirch530d]

Originally Posted by zltm089

I got 8!!!!!!!!.....

with a username like ZLTM089 i wonder why lol

[jimmylimmy]

14 right for me

I wonder how many languages the test will be available in?

[Snooky]

Originally Posted by dxb335d

Your a foreigner?

I'm Irish mate!

[jonl1983]

Oz have immigration sorted ang good luck to them. The UK should take a leaf out of their book, they don't fuck about!

I go through Sydney 3-4 times a year and have seen their immigration officers at work. Puts ours to shame (oh aren't they on strike?!?!)

There is a programme on sky most days called border patrol and they are meticulous over everything. Good bit of tv!

[dobbo99]

Originally Posted by jonl1983

Oz have immigration sorted ang good luck to them. The UK should take a leaf out of their book, they don't fuck about!

I go through Sydney 3-4 times a year and have seen their immigration officers at work. Puts ours to shame (oh aren't they on strike?!?!)

There is a programme on sky most days called border patrol and they are meticulous over everything. Good bit of tv!

how much do you laugh when there is another old malaysian, chinese, japanese couple trying to carry in 28 tins of dried beetle and crickets for their 3 week visit.
and then you find out they tried to do it last time they visited.

[Steve A]

It was me that raised the AUS comparison in the other thread. They are completley different on the points scoring system, we have a load of shit questions that arent relevant they ask things like

1. Can you speak the language fluently (english) ---pre text if not fuck off
2. Are you on the list of needed professions - If you are great if not your probbably a benefit seeking layabout type - so fuck off
3. Are you a crim? - Fuck off
4. Have you got a job - no i hear you say well guess what fuck off
5. Have you got a few quid - is that another no, well double fuck off.
etc etc etc

In fact the more and more i think about AUS the better it gets.

[mv57]

Originally Posted by sheps

So, you swat up on (largely useless) information in order to answer some totally irrelevant questions, but no one bothers to check if you know how to correctly dispose of your unwanted washing machines (incorrect answer: leave them in the front garden of your rented house), what time your neighbours can complain about your loud music, dog fouling laws, public decency offenses or the (literally) hundreds & thousands of things we all do (or do not do) day every day that set us apart as solid, considerate citizens?

I don't get it -do we really want to send out the message "We'll let any old c*nt in, as long as they're budding historians and have a good memory for dates? PS, get an extra benefits allowance by answering correctly "Where did the Great Fire of London start?"

Best thing about immigration is trying to dilute the inbred pikey mother fuckers that would dump their washing machine on the front lawn and expect the councils to clear up their shit.

http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=618280

Courtesy of RCUK

Great fire of london started i london I think.

[ZURICH]

Originally Posted by rsmallwo

Well i got 15 with no sweat. the questions just took some deduction to eleminate the wrong answers.

Yes i ultimately failed, but i beat you guys.....call yourself british...tut tut! !

I think you lot should volunteer for deportation.

M3fast, i'll buy your car from u for half market price since your getting deported now and need a quick sale.....fantastic!

:-P

I may have only got 13 correct but at least I was deported to Switzerland and not Hull.

[F31-340i]

What a load of crap.

I got 16 - still a fail. Some were just guesses - e.g. how many kids in UK 13,14,15,16 million - who is really going to know that? Inappropriate & pointless precision!

I suspect there must be some sort of book to read that can you learn the answers too - I.e. it seems more like a comprehension / intel test.....

[jonl1983]

Originally Posted by dobbo99

how much do you laugh when there is another old malaysian, chinese, japanese couple trying to carry in 28 tins of dried beetle and crickets for their 3 week visit.
and then you find out they tried to do it last time they visited.

There are some idiots who look completely dumbfounded when their jar of pickled bollox are taken from them.

I normally tick I have something but just a sandwich as I find it gets me through quicker.

Oz is bang on with immigration, if you have any kind of shady past, no employment, or if they think your coming there for a free ride then you can fuck off back to where you came from.

There was a uk episode on tv the other day straight after an oz "nothing to declare". There was some African bloke claiming to be 15 and fleeing violence, nothing stacked up, he looked about 30 and none of his stories made sense. Immigration knew he was lying but couldn't prove it and it would of breached euro law to send him home so they had to put him in a immigration centre for further interviewing. Guess what, he was never seen again and his whereabouts are unknown. Takes the piss, he should of stuck on the next plane straight out!!!

[misterS3]

Originally Posted by Steve A

It was me that raised the AUS comparison in the other thread. They are completley different on the points scoring system, we have a load of shit questions that arent relevant they ask things like

1. Can you speak the language fluently (english) ---pre text if not fuck off
2. Are you on the list of needed professions - If you are great if not your probbably a benefit seeking layabout type - so fuck off
3. Are you a crim? - Fuck off
4. Have you got a job - no i hear you say well guess what fuck off
5. Have you got a few quid - is that another no, well double fuck off.
etc etc etc

In fact the more and more i think about AUS the better it gets.

Erm....I take it you know how UK system works?

It's a bit like that programme on tax during the week where people's perceptions were so far wide of the mark

eg National Insurance being ring fenced for eduction, NHS etc

How many people in the UK earned over 120k etc.

Good programme worth a watch on iplayer.