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      03-20-2018, 06:02 PM   #925
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^but you survived the tank explosion, so will let it slide
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      03-21-2018, 04:53 PM   #926
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Forgive me father for I have sinned.
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      03-22-2018, 10:56 AM   #927
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Forgive me father for I have sinned.
i can't believe you've done this
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      03-22-2018, 01:41 PM   #928
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I can't believe you can't beleive
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      03-22-2018, 02:03 PM   #929
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Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
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      03-22-2018, 02:15 PM   #930
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Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
are you sure it's yours?
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      03-22-2018, 03:14 PM   #931
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are you sure it's yours?
I guess at first, it sounds unlikely but due to a prior health concern that we were unaware of for a long time she was unable to get pregnant. Then medication that she was on would have caused birth defects, so then we finally got her on a safe med then 3-4 months ago we started trying.... here we are today
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      03-22-2018, 03:40 PM   #932
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Originally Posted by Rob340i View Post
Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
Okay dude, play it cool. Here is the things you can expect and you're bound to fuck up.

1. When she has morning sickness (never call it that, it comes and goes with most women!) you need to know it's your fault and you need to have crackers or other wheat based treats ready everywhere. Those aren't the healthiest things in the world but you don't want your baby to be born in jail right?

2. All the fucking crying that comes along: Either take that like a man, or be killed in a divorce. You can control the LED lights on euro settings in bad conditions on automatic settings better than you can the waterworks.

3. She can lose weight, or gain it massively, but no matter what, she feels like shit through the first and second trimester. Your basic job is to pretend you still want to have sex with her even when she doesn't want to.

4. On the last trimester read the three first ones, and think of those rules as 3x more important. She will drive you nuts, and then someone you know who is already is divorced tells you it will be easier when the baby comes out: He is divorced for a reason.

Best of luck. And when she acts up in the weirdest ways, pm me and I'll translate it to you. I'm pro at telling men what they're missing when the women freak you out.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.

Last edited by Lups; 03-22-2018 at 04:07 PM. Reason: fucking autocorrect and dyslexia.
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      03-22-2018, 05:00 PM   #933
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Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
Congrats!!!

Your life is going to change drastically. After the first year which sucks, it gets better though. Stay strong through the first year. It really does get better.
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      03-22-2018, 08:01 PM   #934
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob340i View Post
Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
My wife didn't even tell her parents till she was like 8 month in
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      03-22-2018, 08:08 PM   #935
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I may quietly buy a stinger gt2 awd
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      03-22-2018, 08:22 PM   #936
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Forgive me father for I have sinned.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti
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      03-22-2018, 08:34 PM   #937
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      03-23-2018, 01:17 AM   #938
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob340i View Post
Just found out my wife of 12 yrs is pregnant with our first she is only 1 month in so she wont let me tell anyone yet. So i had to get it off my chest.
Okay dude, play it cool. Here is the things you can expect and you're bound to fuck up.

1. When she has morning sickness (never call it that, it comes and goes with most women!) you need to know it's your fault and you need to have crackers or other wheat based treats ready everywhere. Those aren't the healthiest things in the world but you don't want your baby to be born in jail right?

2. All the fucking crying that comes along: Either take that like a man, or be killed in a divorce. You can control the LED lights on euro settings in bad conditions on automatic settings better than you can the waterworks.

3. She can lose weight, or gain it massively, but no matter what, she feels like shit through the first and second trimester. Your basic job is to pretend you still want to have sex with her even when she doesn't want to.

4. On the last trimester read the three first ones, and think of those rules as 3x more important. She will drive you nuts, and then someone you know who is already is divorced tells you it will be easier when the baby comes out: He is divorced for a reason.

Best of luck. And when she acts up in the weirdest ways, pm me and I'll translate it to you. I'm pro at telling men what they're missing when the women freak you out.
Wish there were a dummy's guide for dad's to be. This is golden advice
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      03-23-2018, 05:01 AM   #939
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Wish there were a dummy's guide for dad's to be. This is golden advice
I thought I should give him the absolute basics first and if he gets through the first trimester I'll tell him about the nesting instincts, and on the third we'll have to tell him how to survive the first two weeks with a baby.
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      03-23-2018, 09:01 AM   #940
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and on the third we'll have to tell him how to survive the first two weeks with a baby.
Oooh, oooh - I know the answer to this one!! This is where the dad books a hotel and stays away for the two weeks right??
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      03-23-2018, 09:09 AM   #941
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Oooh, oooh - I know the answer to this one!! This is where the dad books a hotel and stays away for the two weeks right??
That actually would work!

Oh coffee Joe, I should get a Nobel prize for the tips I have for the baby year!
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      03-23-2018, 09:12 AM   #942
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That actually would work!

Oh coffee Joe, I should get a Nobel prize for the tips I have for the baby year!
I'm not sure causing couples to divorce is quite what the Nobel Peace prize had in mind with respect to the "Peace" component of the award....
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      03-23-2018, 09:17 AM   #943
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I'm not sure causing couples to divorce is quite what the Nobel Peace prize had in mind with respect to the "Peace" component of the award....
I'm preventing murders!

Shut up!

I can't believe I still want a baby considering how wonderfully pregnancies suited me. An earlier poster said his wife told her parents when she was on the eight month. My mom asked me to stop dieting on the 7th month and to do a few situps. That's when I remembered to tell her we were going to have a baby number two.
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      03-23-2018, 09:50 AM   #944
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I'm preventing murders!

Shut up!

I can't believe I still want a baby considering how wonderfully pregnancies suited me. An earlier poster said his wife told her parents when she was on the eight month. My mom asked me to stop dieting on the 7th month and to do a few situps. That's when I remembered to tell her we were going to have a baby number two.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the past and from mistakes of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      03-23-2018, 09:59 AM   #945
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the past and from mistakes of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Who peed in your coffee?

I'm on a such a good mood today I feel like singing!
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      03-23-2018, 10:11 AM   #946
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I'm on a such a good mood today I feel like singing!
Please donít.

Thanks
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