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      04-16-2021, 09:44 AM   #2267
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These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
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      04-16-2021, 09:50 AM   #2268
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These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
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      04-16-2021, 09:54 AM   #2269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ramman434 View Post
These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
You can't make this shit up.

Please keep me entertained while I clean my house.
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      04-16-2021, 09:57 AM   #2270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
Pass on the dude, but I'll hear the story about the woman! I'm dying to understand how that would be effective in a self defense situation.
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      04-16-2021, 09:59 AM   #2271
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I think you should just throw the stories up w/a bold headline. We'll take them all ROFL
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      04-16-2021, 10:02 AM   #2272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
That depends. Was she a good bang?
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      04-16-2021, 10:03 AM   #2273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ramman434 View Post
These are great stories. Please keep 'em coming. They're making Friday morning even better.
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
You can't make this shit up.

Please keep me entertained while I clean my house.
Entertainment is here.

A few years ago, my partners contacted a heavy set African American female who had a felony warrant and a history of gun possession. During the detention, the female was asked the standard questions about weapons and/or drugs on her person. She was also advised a female would be performing an in-depth search; gotta keep those allegations to a minimum, right?!? The suspect stated she had nothing on her. When my female partner showed up to conduct a thorough search, she felt something slightly protruding from the suspect's vagina. Obviously this alerted my partner. Further questioning revealed it was a gun. This suspect stuffed a little .380 in one of her two nature's pockets because she didn't want to go back to jail.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
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      04-16-2021, 10:32 AM   #2274
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
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      04-16-2021, 11:09 AM   #2275
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
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So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
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My wife would give me so much head if I did that.
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      04-16-2021, 11:18 AM   #2276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I wish I could upload my body cam video of the meth head who offered fellatio in exchange for his release. He said he'd gum me up real nice.




Do you want to hear the story about the woman with a .380 in her vagina?
We had one too, She was booked in by CHP in one of our jails
I need that story. Lol!


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Originally Posted by Vivek. View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I don't care about cars, although you're more likely to catch my attention in a Nissan Altima or Dodge Charger because gangsters love those two cars (...and Altima drivers are always dirty.....meaning, guns/dope/warrants).
I'm not sure how I feel about this level of prejudice coming straight from the horse's mouth but I completely agree with you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So in Canada, the police can stop any vehicle to check that the driver is licensed, has proper registration and insurance. We also have this thing called "the judges rules" which stem from common law. Essentially the police can ask you just about anything, you don't necessarily have to answer but posing the question "what are you doing here" etc. isn't illegal or wrong.
It may not be illegal or wrong but it's frankly offensive to be questioned so many times about what I'm doing in the neighborhood that I live in.
We're human and we notice patterns just like any other human. ....as evidenced by your statement. Gangsters/thugs love to emulate each other.
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      04-16-2021, 11:18 AM   #2277
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Quote:
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Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.
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      04-16-2021, 11:19 AM   #2278
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Entertainment is here.

I did not want to be the doctor/nurse tasked with removing that so she could be booked. lol!
If a women can give birth to a 13lbs+ baby, she can probably hide a disassembled AR-15. And a couple of clips. And a tripod.


The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
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      04-16-2021, 11:29 AM   #2279
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The woman I nab with an AR15 in her vagina is getting a pass from me.
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
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      04-16-2021, 11:54 AM   #2280
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)

(OK i'm sure that's not the reason, but still, funny to think so - to prevent contraband brought in rectally) surprise!
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      04-16-2021, 11:56 AM   #2281
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Quote:
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Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
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      04-16-2021, 12:12 PM   #2282
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
Whoever has to take those out better 3 glove up to the elbow. Lord only knows what kind of diseases are in that vaginal juice
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      04-16-2021, 12:14 PM   #2283
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murf993 View Post
So having done a ton of in custody deaths in provincial and federal prison you need to know that there are correct terms for this kind of thing.

Hooping is when you have a stash up your ass and suit casing refers to the vagina. Heres another fun fact for you moms and dads out there, the container of choice for smuggling drugs into jails is Kinder-eggs. I shit you not.
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Keister bunny first
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      04-16-2021, 12:30 PM   #2284
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that reminds me - apparently this is a thing - cannot bring Kinder eggs into the US from Canada...)
That is because of this:

Quote:
That's because they always have a fun surprise in them!!!!
The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
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      04-16-2021, 12:30 PM   #2285
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Originally Posted by mahalom3 View Post
And that is one reason why when we book people into custody for any drug offenses, before you get cleared to leave the jail, he or she has to meet with the Kinster bunny first
I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
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      04-16-2021, 12:34 PM   #2286
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That is because of this:



The US FDA considers those toys inside the eggs a choking hazard. We have Kinder Eggs in the US, but they don't have toys in them.
Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
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      04-16-2021, 12:35 PM   #2287
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I think you meant the KEISTER Bunny
Affirm! thanks
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      04-16-2021, 12:53 PM   #2288
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Wait - is that a recent new change of law? Because I could swear I bought Kinder eggs last year that had some Star Wars toys in them (i.e. little plastic pieces of sh#t)
Been that way for 20+ years. Maybe since before the Eggs were invented.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder...#United_States
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