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      12-16-2017, 11:33 AM   #89
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Also never try to use "devices" to get a girl, such as money, an M3, a boat, talking constantly about how well you are doing in your career, etc. Those will never work, and most women see right through it. Some of the most attractive women I've dated I met when I was broke in college with nothing but my personality to attract them. Most of them are attracted more to the connection you have with the thing than the thing itself. I'll use a boat for example. They don't really care that you have a boat, it's that you are a fun guy who likes going out and doing things, being on the water, living life, etc.

When a friend of mine first bought his BMW before I even knew anything about them, I jokingly asked him if it was a chick magnet. He said don't even get me started, I have more guys coming up to ask me about my car than anything else.
this is what im saying. ive only had one girl ever ask me about my car, and she was driving an e46 m3 so she was an exception.


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I guess I'm happier being self-aware and happier single than delusional and with the wrong person. I've attracted my fair share of women due to my sparkling personality and amazing charm and wit, just not the sorts of women I want to date...
so you dont want the women who are attracted to your m3 and you dont want the women who are attracted to your personality?

sounds like youre the problem, not them.
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      12-16-2017, 12:31 PM   #90
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Crazy stories but fun. Mine is not online but kinda became online. I met my future wife at her brotherís party. I was separated, lonely etc and we just hit it off. Over the next several months we talked online a lot, dated etc.

We got married like four months after my divorce came through. I think people thought it was some sort of plan but honestly I was so tired of being abused, lonely from not being with my kids, I was hungry for a true companion. Weíve been together almost nine years and very happy.

I did talk to a lot of women online and was really weirded out by a lot of it. I met one woman from POF but like most of you have mentioned, she lied about her body state and looks. Embellish would be an understatement. My tolerance threshold was pretty low due to my first wife, so I met her and didnít even order a drink. I simply said this isnít for me and walked out.

This sounds kind of like a MGTOW thread lol.
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      12-16-2017, 12:53 PM   #91
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Never had much luck with online dating. I didnít try hard but gave Tinder a shot and also created profiles on 2 other dating sites. Most of it was garbage, especially Tinder. Most people on there were trashy, scammers, or just used it to increase their IG followers.

All the gfís Iíve had and including the current one were met in person. Iím shallow in that I prefer the girl to be at least cute and have a good personality. With online stuff, you could never tell. I either judge too quickly or get judged too quickly. I do see the direction our society is heading towards though. 10 years from now people will be going on dates from the comfort of their leaving room with AI/VR.

Btw, @upstatedoc - sorry to hear about your divorce man. IiRC there was a thread on posting a pic of you and your SO and you won.
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      12-16-2017, 12:54 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
You are 100% right. Social media & the net have really ruined society. Everyone & their mother thinks their opinion must be heard & that everyone wants to hear it on everything & they are geniuses & they are super awesome & super hot. SMH
That and the participation award that makes people believe that in the grown up it entitles them to big raises, bonuses and promotions just for maybe showing up to work.
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      12-16-2017, 03:08 PM   #93
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Yup. I'm not a model, but I work out everyday to stay in shape and have a decent sense of humor. If you can make a girl laugh, and keep her laughing, the game is yours. Add in a bit of confidence without being an arrogant asshole and the odds are in your favor. And I say game because it really is a game.

People are crazy, you never know what they are looking for. I've seen some of the hottest, well educated chicks dating abusive fat guys with no job because they need validation and don't want to be alone.

I think online dating makes things 100% harder because it is all taking people at face value. I've met chicks online that were so-so in their pictures, but the messages seemed pretty funny. Ended up meeting and they were hotter in person and the personality was icing on the cake.

Also never try to use "devices" to get a girl, such as money, an M3, a boat, talking constantly about how well you are doing in your career, etc. Those will never work, and most women see right through it. Some of the most attractive women I've dated I met when I was broke in college with nothing but my personality to attract them. Most of them are attracted more to the connection you have with the thing than the thing itself. I'll use a boat for example. They don't really care that you have a boat, it's that you are a fun guy who likes going out and doing things, being on the water, living life, etc.

When a friend of mine first bought his BMW before I even knew anything about them, I jokingly asked him if it was a chick magnet. He said don't even get me started, I have more guys coming up to ask me about my car than anything else.
Well said sir!

I have been on online dating many years since the glorious days of IRC. Those days that you only could chat with people. Well I have many horror stories and when I say horror I mean it, however I have also met very good and hot girls.

The best rule I have discovered is the 5 minute first date. You meet her and if you like her you arrange a second meeting. If no you split as strangers who had a quick chat.

By the way I wish I could see a similar topic with the women participating in it. It would be very interesting...
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      12-17-2017, 12:00 AM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FD3S View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Yup. I'm not a model, but I work out everyday to stay in shape and have a decent sense of humor. If you can make a girl laugh, and keep her laughing, the game is yours. Add in a bit of confidence without being an arrogant asshole and the odds are in your favor. And I say game because it really is a game.

People are crazy, you never know what they are looking for. I've seen some of the hottest, well educated chicks dating abusive fat guys with no job because they need validation and don't want to be alone.

I think online dating makes things 100% harder because it is all taking people at face value. I've met chicks online that were so-so in their pictures, but the messages seemed pretty funny. Ended up meeting and they were hotter in person and the personality was icing on the cake.

Also never try to use "devices" to get a girl, such as money, an M3, a boat, talking constantly about how well you are doing in your career, etc. Those will never work, and most women see right through it. Some of the most attractive women I've dated I met when I was broke in college with nothing but my personality to attract them. Most of them are attracted more to the connection you have with the thing than the thing itself. I'll use a boat for example. They don't really care that you have a boat, it's that you are a fun guy who likes going out and doing things, being on the water, living life, etc.

When a friend of mine first bought his BMW before I even knew anything about them, I jokingly asked him if it was a chick magnet. He said don't even get me started, I have more guys coming up to ask me about my car than anything else.
Well said sir!

I have been on online dating many years since the glorious days of IRC. Those days that you only could chat with people. Well I have many horror stories and when I say horror I mean it, however I have also met very good and hot girls.

The best rule I have discovered is the 5 minute first date. You meet her and if you like her you arrange a second meeting. If no you split as strangers who had a quick chat.

By the way I wish I could see a similar topic with the women participating in it. It would be very interesting...
We did have the same topic in the past with girls participating.

I have the same complaint as most of you. People just show up looking different from their pics. Guys who claim to be fit but then show up with a beer gut... it's not the extra weight I care about, it's the deception that's annoying.
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      12-17-2017, 12:29 AM   #95
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Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
We did have the same topic in the past with girls participating.

I have the same complaint as most of you. People just show up looking different from their pics. Guys who claim to be fit but then show up with a beer gut... it's not the extra weight I care about, it's the deception that's annoying.
Hey Tara, good to see you back in the OT..haven't seen you around here in awhile.
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      12-17-2017, 12:32 AM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
We did have the same topic in the past with girls participating.

I have the same complaint as most of you. People just show up looking different from their pics. Guys who claim to be fit but then show up with a beer gut... it's not the extra weight I care about, it's the deception that's annoying.
Hey Tara, good to see you back in the OT..haven't seen you around here in awhile.
I lurk once in awhile
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      12-17-2017, 12:36 AM   #97
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I lurk once in awhile
You probably miss those skunk days...haha..are you sure you don't want to jump into the cesspool shark tank political threads we have here?
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      12-17-2017, 12:40 AM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
I lurk once in awhile
You probably miss those skunk days...haha..are you sure you don't want to jump into the cesspool shark tank political threads we have here?
Yup, that's what turned me off of OT for awhile.
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      12-17-2017, 12:45 AM   #99
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Yup, that's what turned me off of OT for awhile.
I understand...hope your back...missed seeing you around these parts.
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      12-17-2017, 02:18 AM   #100
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Third time lucky.

1. I tried it 9 years ago. A lady messaged me and spooked me. She wanted d**k pics and it turned into a you go then I go webcam thing... except when we went live she didn't show anything... she said she suffered from low self esteem and that I would find her unattractive. She said she had to go. The chat ended. I was ill for a week. Man flu. She kept blowing up my phone: "I told my mum I found a guy. She didn't think I could do it. I feel like cutting myself if you don't talk to me." I had never heard of cutting before so asked her to talk me through what she would do. She said the only way she wouldn't cut is if I took her out for dinner. Needless to say the burner had served it's purpose and I never looked back.

2. I came across this pretty young thing and we hit it off. Some tastes were similar. Otherwise I was interested because she was teaching me a thing or two about music. Her profile said she was 5ft. We agreed to meet the same day. I couldn't find her when we met. Something grabbed my hand. I looked around and then looked down to my legs and it was her. She said she could be herself with me and the reason she didn't declare her height was because she knew a guy wouldn't want a midget. I thought what the hell let's eat as we're both hungry. In the restaurant she could hardly reach over the table. The evening went okay but night was too intense. I came home that night to a two page e-mail about how I had complete her and she didn't want to be intense but she was in love with me. I was thinking I don't even know you for a minute. I said we should take it easy and she said: "I knew you were like the others!" The next day another e-mail about how I could be a good husband as it felt right to her. Her mate hosted a radio show and gave me a shout out for making his friend happy. He invited me to a stand up comedy act. I went and the comedy was poor. I left that night. She was all over some other guy that evening. The next week on Facebook I see wedding photographs and comments on how she had met him at a comedy night. It was too intense and to tell someone you love them within hours is a bit much. We parted on good terms. I told her I was happy for her and she told me that guy could have been me. In my head I was like: I don't think so!

3. Fed up with both these experiences I decided to overhaul my profile. I was blunt and clearly stated 'if you're looking for someone you want to get to know and promise not to tell me you love me after a few hours then read on...' My family is quite broken so I said I don't speak with my younger sister or father. He has been an awful father. That I am a little lost with my career but I am a live in carer part time for my grand father for now. Followed by the usual taste in music, movies and, how I spend my time... I was contacted by someone who said they felt a little lost in life too and wanted to meet someone and see where it went - that she had some family drama and could relate. Let's say I haven't put the phone down since. We met the next day, took it slow and, I respected her... by the end of the year we were engaged and married after two... my best friend, my soul mate... It's coming up to 10 years next year! Strained relationships are no longer as bad (although not perfect) but that is the power of love and she has helped me to heal in places I didn't want to face. She tells me I bring out the best in her. We have had some ups and downs as it goes but mostly ups. The only way is up. I thank the big G every day.
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      12-17-2017, 11:10 AM   #101
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Exchanged numbers with a girl yesterday & natural progression is to setup a real life date, no?

So I go to do that & she starts flipping out (via text) about too soon or whatever & people use the site for sex, selling drugs, etc...then she says she's not looking for a bf. I said "We haven't even met yet, I don't want to be your bf lol" She then blocks me WTF?!
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      12-17-2017, 12:42 PM   #102
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My experience has been most women want to chat/text, even talk on the phone for a bit before they would want to go out on a date. They want to make sure you're not an ax murderer. Are you an axe murderer?
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      12-17-2017, 01:54 PM   #103
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I understand...hope your back...missed seeing you around these parts.
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      12-17-2017, 01:56 PM   #104
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My experience has been most women want to chat/text, even talk on the phone for a bit before they would want to go out on a date. They want to make sure you're not an ax murderer. Are you an axe murderer?
Two can keep a secret if one is dead... would be my response
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      12-17-2017, 02:22 PM   #105
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My experience has been most women want to chat/text, even talk on the phone for a bit before they would want to go out on a date. They want to make sure you're not an ax murderer. Are you an axe murderer?
that is the complete opposite of my experience. i usually try to get the number and set up the date within 10-15 messages. most girls who aren't down by then are just trying to chat/waste time and have no real intentions of meeting.
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      12-17-2017, 02:40 PM   #106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
that is the complete opposite of my experience. i usually try to get the number and set up the date within 10-15 messages. most girls who aren't down by then are just trying to chat/waste time and have no real intentions of meeting.
+1

I just tell them right away that I'm an axe murderer and they are usually fine with it.
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      12-17-2017, 03:42 PM   #107
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I don't know how old you guys are but the women that I am meeting are probably a little older and more cautious
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      12-17-2017, 03:52 PM   #108
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I don't know how old you guys are but the women that I am meeting are probably a little older and more cautious
I'm 27, and honestly I can't really say there is much of a difference between the women in their mid 20s and the ones in their early 30s. Some have no clue what they want, some do. Their personality seems to be more of a factor than age. A lot of people tell me I act mature for my age. Maybe that has something to do with it?

I don't usually take bullshit from people. If there is any sign of it I move on, not worth my time. Being cautious is one thing, and I completely get that, but constant mixed messages is another.

Guys have to be mindful too. You never know who is really on the other end of the conversation. On the news a few months ago a guy was robbed and assaulted when he went to meet someone from an online dating site. He showed up, met the girl, and she said she needed to grab her wallet from inside her house and invited him inside. When he went inside two other men jumped him, robbed him, and assaulted him.
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      12-17-2017, 04:06 PM   #109
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So I've got a couple decades on you.
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I was thinking of foaming that hole as well.
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      12-17-2017, 08:11 PM   #110
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Originally Posted by aozer View Post
that is the complete opposite of my experience. i usually try to get the number and set up the date within 10-15 messages. most girls who aren't down by then are just trying to chat/waste time and have no real intentions of meeting.
I get the same thing as upstatedoc does, but I also do what you do with get things lined up sooner rather than later. That does weed out the time wasters.
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