[zltm089]

Originally Posted by willhollin

You are the exception.

I know Will...like a forum member once said... "where would the brand be without me?"...

[ed335d]

Originally Posted by Dr Dave

There's a lot of willy-waving going on here!

Mostly in Helen's mind. Apparently.

[beemerbird]

Originally Posted by ed335d

Mostly in Helen's mind. Apparently.

Lol........only to be expected.

My vision...........certain MEMBERS standing in line and bent over then Carl standing alone with shreddies around his ankles plantively shouting "Hey guys, form a line here pleeease." Makes me laugh anyhow.

[ed335d]

Originally Posted by beemerbird

Lol........only to be expected.

My vision...........certain MEMBERS standing in line and bent over then Carl standing alone with shreddies around his ankles plantively shouting "Hey guys, form a line here pleeease." Makes me laugh anyhow.

Well, I wasn't expecting your fantasy to turn out quite like that

[Dr Dave]

Originally Posted by ed335d

Mostly in Helen's mind. Apparently.

Poor Helen!!!!!

[deletedelete]

[beemerbird]

Originally Posted by ed335d

Well, I wasn't expecting your fantasy to turn out quite like that

Mis-quoted me Ed, not a fantasy but a vision lol.

Not telling you the former either...........Too tiring.

[pjs]

Originally Posted by beemerbird

Lol........only to be expected.

My vision...........certain MEMBERS standing in line and bent over then Carl standing alone with shreddies around his ankles plantively shouting "Hey guys, form a line here pleeease." Makes me laugh anyhow.

SICK SICK SICK

You been drinking the same stuff Alan was on...

[pjs]

Originally Posted by AlanQS

I had a strangely disturbing yet similar dream. A 320d was standing with it's exhaust shining proudly, purring gently away, and next to it was another diesel - the closest you could describe it - panting, it's exhaust pipes drooping down at both sides of the car, a sort of creamy lather/foam edging out of the bonnet and it's driver suspended half way through the windscreen like a frozen movie shot.

Moving closer, the driver's tongue was hanging half out of his mouth and a look of total surprise etched over his face. Whether he was dead or just depressed, I couldn't tell but the wind moaned gently over the tableau carrying a wisp of conversation with it "..another fackin diesel, init".

The scene started to fade away as I realised I was dreaming. But what had happened in the scene to alert me to the unreality of it all? ... why because 19" alloys in this world, didn't crack!

This is the craziest thing I have read seen online, ever.

[beemerbird]

Originally Posted by pjs

SICK SICK SICK

You been drinking the same stuff Alan was on...

What's good for the goose and all that....besides my imagination knows no limits.

I thought Alan's post was cool actually...........almost bordering on one of those 'moody' French films!

[Snooky]

Some wacky stuff going on here!

Carl, we love you too bud!! You are a one-off and no mistake!!

[AlanQS]

I had a strangely disturbing yet similar dream. A 320d was standing with it's exhaust shining proudly, purring gently away, and next to it was another diesel - the closest you could describe it - panting, it's exhaust pipes drooping down at both sides of the car, a sort of creamy lather/foam edging out of the bonnet and it's driver suspended half way through the windscreen like a frozen movie shot.

Moving closer, the driver's tongue was hanging half out of his mouth and a look of total surprise etched over his face. Whether he was dead or just depressed, I couldn't tell but the wind moaned gently over the tableau carrying a wisp of conversation with it "..another fackin diesel, init".

The scene started to fade away as I realised I was dreaming. But what had happened in the scene to alert me to the unreality of it all? ... why because 19" alloys in this world, didn't crack!

Strange... it's that scene again. The driver, still half protruding from the windscreen - like a scene from Max Payne but no bullet casings, no blood, and no bullet holes.

The wind was bitter and in the distance, the deep rumble of a V8 and a woman's laugh, abruptly cut off. Suddenly I could hear a voice - something about trawlers. I looked around but knew not to expect Eric Cantona as the voice was Yorkshire. But I saw nothing.

A smooth headed man suddenly ran past, clutching at a truly dreadful T-Shirt, moaning about a dog. I felt I was pushing it but the imagery would not stop.

The head started to speak in tongues, "Shamoa, Essw, yacant" or something like that. I stepped back, alarmed, but shadows rose from the ground around me, strange shapes with grotesque appurtenances projecting from their bodies. I heard a muttered "F50" and "long stop" and suddenly realised... was it the photographers?! Or was the Purveyor of truly frightening things with them...

They gurgled and still in shadow approached the head. A shape hovered over the windscreen and an extension swept over the head, cutting out the sound of tongues, then withdrawing - leaving nothing behind.

If this is a dream, I said to myself, why am I beginning to drop bricks - and why can't I wake up!!

The shadows came towards me, and as they sank into the ground from whence they rose, words hung in the air "I'd like things to be nice and boring, thank you."

Now please, can I wake up?

Bright Moonlight suddenly cut through the clouds to illuminate the beach. It glinted on the water and cast new shadows over the bay. In the middle of the bay, the moonlight reflected off something large, blobby, and pale, lying on the sand. Although a good distance away, the moonlight was bright enough and the object large enough, for me to realise that the Purveyor had called - for this must be one of his models.

Oh God, it stirred!

I got into the first car, it's engine was still running, snicked into first and gunned it! Rear wheels stick in the sand....

It's moving towards me!

I'm trapped...

[Geoffo]

Hip Hip Horay !! for E90 post..

Alan..The mind boggles..

[JLR1969]

Originally Posted by Geoffo318

Hip Hip Horay !! for E90 post..

Alan..The mind boggles..

Is it not wild mushroom season in Scotland at the moment, their are quite a few popping up. Maybe Alan has been out and about with his basket.

[beemerbird]

Alan, you're so mis-understood.............excellent stuff.

[E902717]

Alan are you on crack?

Carlos i love you too!

[AlanQS]

.... I got into the first car, it's engine was still running, snicked into first and gunned it! Rear wheels stick in the sand....

It's moving towards me!

I'm trapped...

Wha!? What? Wassup! Jeesy peeps, what's beardy doing in my seat - oh... it's my best mate - or so he says, revving the guts out of me... cripes, my nether regions are buried in sand!?

What's that moving towards me! Some blobbering mass crawling this way. It's got something tattooed on it's ass - "I belong to Wi" - oh, can't read the rest.

C'mon! DSC OFF you dumb Scotch half wit! That's right. Now put it in reverse, now first, now reverse, that's right, rockit baby!

Hey, what's droopy tubes with the half out windscreen and shaving foam on his bonnet doing? can't he see we've got problems? Oh, ... he's got his own I guess. Kinda gives a new meaning to "headless chicken".

That's it babe, we're beginning to move but so is half ton Tessie there. Jeez, that drool would take your paint off, no kidding - and I've had enough of your machine polishing Mr. Pinko Beardo so hurry up and shift my ass!

Thank god we're moving off now, that bloody sand will get in everywhere
and will he crawl under me to give a decent wash down - oh no, not that lazy bar steward.

HOY! DSC back ON you muppet. This cliff road is a bit slippy and I'm buggered if I'm risking my panels to your idea of car control.

And I DON'T have auto lights so would you please!... thank you.

What!? Down there, in the gap in the hedge, the thing has reached ol' droopy tubes. Oh jeez, that shouldn't happen to your worst enemy. Well, if his back wheels weren't cracked before...

Let's go home "best mate", ... I'd rather be bored, thank you very much.

[ed335d]

Originally Posted by AlanQS

Wha!? What? Wassup! Jeesy peeps, what's beardy doing in my seat - oh... it's my best mate - or so he says, revving the guts out of me... cripes, my nether regions are buried in sand!?

What's that moving towards me! Some blobbering mass crawling this way. It's got something tattooed on it's ass - "I belong to Wi" - oh, can't read the rest.

C'mon! DSC OFF you dumb Scotch half wit! That's right. Now put it in reverse, now first, now reverse, that's right, rockit baby!

Hey, what's droopy tubes with the half out windscreen and shaving foam on his bonnet doing? can't he see we've got problems? Oh, ... he's got his own I guess. Kinda gives a new meaning to "headless chicken".

That's it babe, we're beginning to move but so is half ton Tessie there. Jeez, that drool would take your paint off, no kidding - and I've had enough of your machine polishing Mr. Pinko Beardo so hurry up and shift my ass!

Thank god we're moving off now, that bloody sand will get in everywhere
and will he crawl under me to give a decent wash down - oh no, not that lazy bar steward.

HOY! DSC back ON you muppet. This cliff road is a bit slippy and I'm buggered if I'm risking my panels to your idea of car control.

And I DON'T have auto lights so would you please!... thank you.

What!? Down there, in the gap in the hedge, the thing has reached ol' droopy tubes. Oh jeez, that shouldn't happen to your worst enemy. Well, if his back wheels weren't cracked before...

Let's go home "best mate", ... I'd rather be bored, thank you very much.

Bonkers!

[beemerbird]

Alan, you've missed your vocation.

[deletedelete]