E90Post
 


 
BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > How do you cope with it?



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      01-28-2018, 09:38 PM   #1
ItsGary
Colonel
ItsGary's Avatar
Canada
1457
Rep
2,336
Posts

Drives: 2009 E90 M3
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Vancouver

iTrader: (0)

How do you cope with it?

How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
__________________
'09 ///M3 Sedan - Jerez Black/Fox Red Ext.
'09 335i Coupe - Alpine White/Black - SOLD
Appreciate 2
      01-28-2018, 09:41 PM   #2
roastbeef
Lieutenant General
roastbeef's Avatar
United_States
11575
Rep
12,714
Posts

Drives: E92 M3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (4)

sounds about normal to me, but i'm not really "sad." i'm indifferent about a lot of things though.
__________________
Instagram; @roastbeefmike
Appreciate 2
ItsGary1456.50
      01-28-2018, 09:49 PM   #3
Samurai of 2day
Major
Samurai of 2day's Avatar
2094
Rep
1,241
Posts

Drives: '22 X6M/'21 S1Krr
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere

iTrader: (0)

it's a tough position to be in, indeed.

The most difficult part about feeling like this, is the feeling of being "alone".

You're not alone. many of us feel like because we don't fit in normal social situations, that our differences make us abnormal and unacceptable.

Even though this perception is our reality, doesn't mean that we do t belong here.

I'm usually stronger than this, because my profession and hobbies require me to so, but as I type this with tears in my eyes, because I've been away due to work (as usual) I know what it's like to feel alone.

Reach out to friends and family. that may help in situations like this. I can understand that may not always be an option, but if you ever feel like you cannot reach out to anyone, please PM me. I promise I will respond and be there for you.

You are not alone.
__________________
Too smart for my own good...
Appreciate 7
ItsGary1456.50
Fakemike368.50
bimmette6452.50
P111541.50
      01-28-2018, 09:50 PM   #4
aozer
Lieutenant
aozer's Avatar
995
Rep
598
Posts

Drives: M235i
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Texas

iTrader: (0)

Basically just lie to yourself. Tell yourself that you are happy, that life is great, that you have nothing to be sad about.

Eventually you will start to believe it. I used to be pretty depressed for a long time, basically just thinking about how much I hated myself 24/7. I started lying to myself about being happy and my thoughts of constant self loathing have become less and less frequent. They definitely still happen, but at least it’s not all fuckin day.
Appreciate 1
Germanauto9665.50
      01-28-2018, 09:51 PM   #5
GregSM3
Private First Class
GregSM3's Avatar
83
Rep
196
Posts

Drives: 2018 M3 ZCP
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: NorCal

iTrader: (0)

For me people tend to help lift my mood if I feel down, being alone tends to have a downward impact on my mood in general, Having said that, I would say it is not unusual to feel sad, but to feel sad enough to post does tend to raise a flag. I know there are a lot of medications that can help modify mood swings and lift your overall outlook and mood. I would definitely have another conversation with your doctor and or do seek out friends and people that can help lift you when you feel down. Hoping you feel better soon.
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 09:55 PM   #6
Samurai of 2day
Major
Samurai of 2day's Avatar
2094
Rep
1,241
Posts

Drives: '22 X6M/'21 S1Krr
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Basically just lie to yourself. Tell yourself that you are happy, that life is great, that you have nothing to be sad about.

Eventually you will start to believe it. I used to be pretty depressed for a long time, basically just thinking about how much I hated myself 24/7. I started lying to myself about being happy and my thoughts of constant self loathing have become less and less frequent. They definitely still happen, but at least it’s not all fuckin day.
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
__________________
Too smart for my own good...
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:04 PM   #7
UglyBuzzard
Colonel
UglyBuzzard's Avatar
United_States
6354
Rep
2,329
Posts

Drives: F90 / M5
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post
How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
Are you married?
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:06 PM   #8
aozer
Lieutenant
aozer's Avatar
995
Rep
598
Posts

Drives: M235i
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Texas

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
What reality? The one that you created in your head? Saying that you don’t belong here sounds like a delusion to me.

Is it better to be delusional and happy or miserable and realistic?

I don’t know if it works, but I know I don’t constantly think about how miserable I am anymore. Maybe I am delusional but at least I’m no longer slowly killing my self with negativity.
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:10 PM   #9
vinylengraver
First Lieutenant
vinylengraver's Avatar
Canada
378
Rep
317
Posts

Drives: 2012 BMW 135i
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Langley, BC

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
Are you sure you are not writing about me?

Except I think I rarely feel truly sad. Most of the time I feel angry and disappointed. Angry with people mostly... and disappointed with the world they are creating... or destroying?

You are not that different... not as much as you think.
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:10 PM   #10
roastbeef
Lieutenant General
roastbeef's Avatar
United_States
11575
Rep
12,714
Posts

Drives: E92 M3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (4)

Start lifting weights and tracking your car. Sets goals and gives something to look forward to.
__________________
Instagram; @roastbeefmike
Appreciate 3
      01-28-2018, 10:14 PM   #11
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11815
Rep
23,187
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

Not an uncommon place to be sir. Im sorta anti social also although don't have the sad part really. Being realistic doesn't have many fans I've found too. Just know your not alone and lots of people are like you. Focus on the positives. Work out, pick other hobbies(solo is fine), do the things that make you feel good about yourself and don't worry about fitting in.
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:15 PM   #12
Samurai of 2day
Major
Samurai of 2day's Avatar
2094
Rep
1,241
Posts

Drives: '22 X6M/'21 S1Krr
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
What reality? The one that you created in your head? Saying that you don’t belong here sounds like a delusion to me.

Is it better to be delusional and happy or miserable and realistic?

I don’t know if it works, but I know I don’t constantly think about how miserable I am anymore. Maybe I am delusional but at least I’m no longer slowly killing my self with negativity.
well said.

But we're both making the same point.

The reality that we create for ourselves is the reality that we accept and live with. So, regardless if we are accepting that we don't belong in this world, or we are accepting the lies we tell ourselves.... is that truly accepting "reality"?

The only thing I'm really trying to relay to the OP, especially in my current position (where I am mostly due to my chosen profession and life experience) is that we're not alone... which is usually the feelings that prompt the action of reaching out to others.

Thais is what is thread is... a call for help.
__________________
Too smart for my own good...
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:22 PM   #13
jmg
Lieutenant General
jmg's Avatar
18493
Rep
14,085
Posts

Drives: G82 M4C X-Drive
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2022 G82 M4C X-Drive  [9.83]
2018 F80 M3 CS  [9.83]
2019 i3 BEV  [0.00]
This is going to sound counterintuitive... but listen to some ultra sad music or watch some sad movie or something. Listening to or empathizing with someone else's misery will let you know you're not alone.
__________________

2022 G82///M4 Competition X-Drive - KW-HAS, EBC Bluestuff, Millway Race Camber Plates, Cup2 Connect*, PSI High Flow Midpipe, Lightweight Front Lip, M Perf Flow Through Wing
Previous • 2018 F80 ///M3 CS • 2016 F80 ///M3
IG: Raging_G82
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 10:35 PM   #14
dmatre
Captain
United_States
663
Rep
740
Posts

Drives: 2011 328i Sedan
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Carolinas

iTrader: (0)

Two ways that have been proven to improve mood:
- physical exercise
- service to others (volunteer work at hospital, school, church, nursing home, etc)

Those two things are more effective than any chemical manipulation.

And neither of them has negative side effects.

Your situation isn't so different from what everyone goes through from time to time. Taking action will have positive results.
Appreciate 5
SakhirM410783.00
jmg18493.00
ItsGary1456.50
bimmette6452.50
      01-28-2018, 10:49 PM   #15
NemesisX
Captain
317
Rep
905
Posts

Drives: '19 Infiniti Q60S
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: TX

iTrader: (0)

I drive, listen to music, and eat out at nice restaurants.

I'm also a huge fan of games, mostly board games or cool card games. Some of my favorites are Resistance: Avalon, One Night Ultimate Werewolf, and Codenames.
Appreciate 0
      01-28-2018, 11:18 PM   #16
RnmEvo9
Banned
247
Rep
1,827
Posts

Drives: 2007 335i
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Pembroke Pines, FL

iTrader: (2)

I rub one out and then I'm happy again.
Appreciate 2
jmg18493.00
      01-29-2018, 12:10 AM   #17
jmg
Lieutenant General
jmg's Avatar
18493
Rep
14,085
Posts

Drives: G82 M4C X-Drive
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2022 G82 M4C X-Drive  [9.83]
2018 F80 M3 CS  [9.83]
2019 i3 BEV  [0.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmatre View Post
Two ways that have been proven to improve mood:
- physical exercise
- service to others (volunteer work at hospital, school, church, nursing home, etc)

Those two things are more effective than any chemical manipulation.

And neither of them has negative side effects.

Your situation isn't so different from what everyone goes through from time to time. Taking action will have positive results.
These are really good ones. Another thing I like to do is to look at something that's been on my "to do" list for a long time and actually do it. Feel that sense of accomplishment. It could be something as simple as cleaning out the garage to rearranging the furniture.
__________________

2022 G82///M4 Competition X-Drive - KW-HAS, EBC Bluestuff, Millway Race Camber Plates, Cup2 Connect*, PSI High Flow Midpipe, Lightweight Front Lip, M Perf Flow Through Wing
Previous • 2018 F80 ///M3 CS • 2016 F80 ///M3
IG: Raging_G82
Appreciate 1
bimmette6452.50
      01-29-2018, 01:40 AM   #18
808@702
8th BMW, 520th Surfboard
808@702's Avatar
490
Rep
1,215
Posts

Drives: My girlfriends crazy!
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Las Vegas, Nv. and Honolulu, Hi. and Seattle Wa.

iTrader: (0)

Wake up early every day go to the gym/ beach/ hiking get out in the sun and laugh at the little things, laugh at yourself, do it all and get tired as hell. Go home have a good meal and hot shower. There are tons of ways to beat this. Self confidence is number one, you build this by all of the above...
Appreciate 2
MKSixer34171.50
euro*1654.00
      01-29-2018, 01:44 AM   #19
ItsGary
Colonel
ItsGary's Avatar
Canada
1457
Rep
2,336
Posts

Drives: 2009 E90 M3
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Vancouver

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by GregSM3 View Post
For me people tend to help lift my mood if I feel down, being alone tends to have a downward impact on my mood in general, Having said that, I would say it is not unusual to feel sad, but to feel sad enough to post does tend to raise a flag. I know there are a lot of medications that can help modify mood swings and lift your overall outlook and mood. I would definitely have another conversation with your doctor and or do seek out friends and people that can help lift you when you feel down. Hoping you feel better soon.
Already on medication. Was arrested in 2015 under the mental health act lol. Been on meds since.


Quote:
Originally Posted by UglyBuzzard View Post
Are you married?

No.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Not an uncommon place to be sir. Im sorta anti social also although don't have the sad part really. Being realistic doesn't have many fans I've found too. Just know your not alone and lots of people are like you. Focus on the positives. Work out, pick other hobbies(solo is fine), do the things that make you feel good about yourself and don't worry about fitting in.
I've been going to car meets but I don't fit in. I'm not really a car guy, and when I hear people talking about stage 2-3 clutches and stuff I don't know what they mean, and I stand out by having being the only BMW there, it doesn't help that its an M3 too.
__________________
'09 ///M3 Sedan - Jerez Black/Fox Red Ext.
'09 335i Coupe - Alpine White/Black - SOLD
Appreciate 0
      01-29-2018, 04:41 AM   #20
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34172
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Volunteer. There are always so many people and organizations that need help. Mingle with the less fortunate, financially, and you will realize how fortunate you are.

Get a medication assessment done annually with your physician and keep a daily log of your moods and feelings. If you want to take it to the next level, write down your activity, as well. This will provide a very good picture of your days to your healthcare provider and serve as a reference of sorts to map your moods.

Lastly, every pot has a lid. Talk to friends often and if you don't have a relationship, date frequently.

Good luck!!
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 1
      01-29-2018, 07:10 AM   #21
EJT86
Brigadier General
EJT86's Avatar
United_States
2383
Rep
3,726
Posts

Drives: 2018 M2
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Boston, MA

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
  [0.00]
2018 BMW M2  [0.00]
Sorry to hear, I’m sure we’ve all been there to some degree I know I have. I’d say the best short term way to help is to go for a loooooong walk or hike or jog, nothing intense. For me last year was probably the toughest I’ve ever had but every night last year for like a month I walked the entire beach here in January. Something like 5 miles, I got rained on freezing beach windchill snowed on but that all ended up helping making it thru the less than ideal elements. Long term solutions are tough to say since so much is going to happen or not happen you can’t really predict what will solve it all, I’d say get a little rhythm maybe pick a time and a place and go for that long walk something to commit to and slowly but definitely you’ll find yourself in a better place
Appreciate 1
      01-29-2018, 11:40 AM   #22
cxp213
Lieutenant
cxp213's Avatar
313
Rep
525
Posts

Drives: M235i
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: TX

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post
How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
+1 on the bolded. I'm not a social person and I choose not to be around most people. I also tend to see myself as realistic but that is oftentimes seen as being negative from others' perspective. It probably doesn't help that I have low tolerance for stupidity and for those who choose not to improve themselves, but I digress..

If a general physician is making those diagnoses and prescribing, I highly recommend that you see a psychologist or other mental health professional who isn't just going to feed you more drugs. A psychiatrist is better than a regular doctor but they'll be more inclined to push pills than do actual therapy with you to improve your mindset by working alongside you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Thais is what is thread is... a call for help.
I'm also taking it this way as well, and why I'm recommending that the OP seek help from a mental health professional. A competent one will be able to work out with you on why you may be feeling this way, so you can get to the source of it all, instead of simply trying to relieve the symptoms exhibited.
Appreciate 3
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:00 AM.




e90post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST